Course Content
Video 1: Thinking Changed My Life
13:53
Do please leave a comment below. John reads all comments.
John C. Parkin (author of the bestselling F**k It books) introduces his 'F**K IT REVOLUTION',
using special 'scripts' to change the negative scripts that we're received throughout our lives and that have driven our thought processes and thus our lives.
He shares stories of how these evidence-based repeatable scripts have brought revolution into his life.
And how they can for you too.
In this first video he shares about how changing his thinking around money changed his fortunes in just 2 days.
48 comments
Hey John,
Lovely to see you and hear your words.
Does this work for men, as well as money?
Can you guarantee in two days the man of my dreams will manifest? ;)
If so … where do I sign up? I’m all in!
P x
Hey Phillippa,
Well it sounds like a fun experiment.
My main mantra was 'money is coming at me from all directions' so that translates rather nicely :-)
The doors open next Friday (to the membership, not to men),
Johnx
Strangely a remark this week plummeted me right back to childhood. A neighbour said to me 'I'd rather talk to 'T' than you - she's much more diplomatic' What I heard from years ago was being told "Shut up, just shut up nobody wants to listen to you". This was always accompanied by a slap accross the face. Needless to say, I haven't said very much at all since this recent incident. Excellent video, thank you.
Jenny,
I'd love to sit and listen to what you have to say.
And I say f**k diplomacy too... I was just writing, this morning, about what we'll be covering in this membership in November, the topic is 'F**k It. Be honest'. I wrote this...
You think you’re honest, of course you do. But when you apply radical honesty to your thoughts and your life, everything becomes more real, more interesting, clearer, and easier. You have to say ‘F**k It’ to the stories and the gentle constant dissembling, then what blossoms out of those remnants is crystal clear clarity about everything.
So, Jenny, give me your honesty over diplomatic nonsense any day, the world wants to hear your clarity please.
John
Coincidence when this landed in my in-box? My boss had just told me to stop putting myself down (I fear being seen as a 'big-head') and it came after several weeks of thinking I'm completely worthless in various aspects of my life. I had a F*** It revolution about 10 years ago and feel its time for another! Keep on F***-ing it!
Hey Sarah,
It's never a coincidence... we waited till your boss had said that so the message hit home. We do a lot of exploration of self-worth in the membership... you'll see some good stuff in Video 3... but our self-talk is so important can change everything (thus the revolution).
What did your F**k It revolution look like 10 years ago?
John
Hi John - my last revolution saw me stop being such a control freak and going with the flow of life, knowing that everything always works out somehow. I'm no longer scared of change, infact I think it's imperative to look at my life every couple of years and ask whether I'm truly happy and what I could do to be happier (strangely none of it has really involved possessions or having to be in a partnership). This time I would like to move to Galicia to work and surf - wheels are in motion already but I need some positivity sometimes! Your 'teachings' really resonate with me.
Hi John,
I really enjoyed your video. I’ve also read one of your books which induced a positive, life altering change for me:) Thank you for this! One of my goals is to travel to Italy and attend a F*** It retreat. I’m working on making this happen.
Hi Deanna,
Ooohh, really pleased to hear about the life-altering change from one of the books. And it would be lovely to see you in Italy... we'll be in Stromboli next June.
Enjoy the rest of the videos,
John
I haven't actually watched the video yet, but I'd like to leave a comment. I developed epilepsy when I was 17, 29 years ago now. I used to have about 1 fit a week. In 2012 I started reading the fuck it books and after a few months my fits became increasingly rare, happening about once every 3 months. In September 2018 I had my last ever fit, and I haven't suffered from epilepsy for nearly 4 years! Good eh?
Do you think living the way of fuck it contributed to this? It wasn't a change in medication.
David,
I'd say MORE THAN GOOD... that's bloomin' marvellous.
And about the best testimonial for the power of F**k It ever :-)
That's just great news, and I'm so happy for you.
So, do I think living the fuck it way contributed to this... well, most likely, yes... what approaching life in a more fuck it way induces in us, and changes in our brains and bodies.
Just one part of the fuck it approach... which is about relaxing more and not caring so much... this has a multitude of effects in the brain and body... you'll be using different parts of the brain, the brain will be at different frequencies (and you'll know from my teaching that that is, simplistically, more right brain rather than left, and more alpha frequency rather than beta)... and then there's the body, just a change in thinking and brain state can flip the nervous system from sympathetic to parasympathetic and all that that means in the body (from breathing to blood pressure to hormone release etc.)...
Just changing the breathing (from a change in brain state) has a huge effect on the body.
So yes, it most probably has really helped that healing process...
It did me (as I talk about in the next video),
so keep on fucking it :-)
And yes, I'm so happy for you,
Johnx
Hello John,
Well you know I'm a fanboy anyway but I do love the focus on scripts you tell yourself. Interestingly.i was in a train today trying to download a new book to read, I couldn't do it due to dodgy wi fi but it did mean the only book I was able to read was a fuck it one which got me thinking about stuff, and then an email pops up and then your video. My you are looking good as well! Ttfn.
Alun,
Yes, we put out a message to interrupt wi-fi connections around the country to send everyone back to already-downloaded f**k it books :-)
It's great to hear from you... and enjoy playing with the scripts thing...
more good stuff coming in the upcoming videos,
Johnx
Hi John,
Fuck it retreat alumnus here. I absolutely believe in the power of scripts and I have experience of using hypnotherapy in an attempt to create new neural pathways.
Changing the script can be very powerful but I just don't believe it brings money into your life. Your internal script did not result in Gaia's inheritance or the found £20. Your internal script didn't cause someone to die some months before.
I feel linking these things cheapens the real benefit of script changing which is changing how we think about ourselves and how we relate to others. In my case feeling worthy of love after childhood sexual abuse; ridding myself of guilt for mistakes made in the past. This truly is powerful stuff.
I got an inheritance this year. It was simply because my mother died and had nothing to do with messages I told myself.
Sandra,
Oohhh, as Mrs. Merton used to say 'let's have a heated debate'...
Yes, the kind of scripts we might use in a discipline like hypnotherapy are powerful and will help change those neural pathways.
But you say 'Changing the script can be very powerful but I just don't believe it brings money into your life'. Well, there's plenty of evidence to suggest that it does, the question for us all is 'why?'.
The most obvious explanation (and easier to grasp and relate with for most of us) is a psychological one. I remember reading about one experiment where they tested people who thought they were 'lucky' against those who thought they were 'unlucky' by asking them to read through a magazine. The magazine contained some great 'free money' offer... and, of course, the 'lucky' ones spotted it and the 'unlucky' ones didn't. So changing our scripts tunes up our subconscious to look out for certain things (and that's a layperson's interpretation of what was going on there). I said 'money is coming at me in all directions' and my subconscious is tuned for looking out for said money... and the day after spots a £20 on the floor that might otherwise not have been spotted.
So far so credible.
It gets harder with elements like the inheritance you mention. Surely that would have arrived anyway.
And that's where we step out of the science of psychology and into the very popular but difficult to test areas of energy, manifestation etc..
The bible gave us a start on this with 'ask and ye shall receive', and apart from the truism that you've never going to receive if you don't start by asking, it does hint at the spiritual element of putting messages, prayers out there and miraculously 'receiving' stuff.
Anyway, this is long enough already,
Just to say that I do also see power in the non-psychology side of things too and could sit chatting with you about this round a fire on a retreat...
I'm generally more interested in 'evidence', even if it's personal...
I try things out... I meditate for hours and see the astonishing things that arise out of that... I try various scripts and see the effect they're having,
I can sit and talk about the whys, the easy to prove whys and the not so easy,
But the main thing to me is to get stuck in, play with these, like playing in a sandpit, and then watch in awe as amazing things happen in our lives :-)
John
I was told as a child I was worthless, a piece of shit, a fucking little liar, I wished I would have had an abortion with you, fucking fat ugly little bitch. My dad walked out when I was 2 my mother, her boyfriend, my little brother and sister packed up and moved one day while I was at school. My mother's boyfriend molested me when I was 9 I told my mother and she said I was a fucking little liar.
I am at my fuck it point as every time my husband says the same thing only not the same words and in his actions. My fuck it point is probably not the positive kind of fuck it, I just want it to end.
Jocylene,
I'm so sorry to hear how tough it's been, and I hear what you're saying about your current desperation...
Please email us directly at eff-it-living@outlook.com and we'll look at how we can help you find support in such difficulty.
John
Awesome video! Thank you very much.
The scripts that were handed to me have so much negativity around them. Including 'Money is the route of all evil', 'Money brings out the worst in people', 'That person has more money than sense', 'Money doesn't grow on trees', and so on...
I am now planting trees in Costa Rica as part of a regenerative reforestation project that my wife & I have started with our 3 boys, creating a food forest, tropical hardwood plantation, retreat/wellness centre to come... We can demonstrate that money may not grow on trees but food that we can share with our friends & neighbours (both human & animal) does, building materials do too!
I have actually emailed you with regards to a speaking opportunity, which I'd be very grateful if you'd consider. Thank you, I hope that you're having a wonderful day!
Thanks for your message Pete,
and wow what wonderful things you are doing,
and we know what it's like doing the retreat thing in a beautiful part of the world with young boys (as we did it with our two twin boys in the hills of Italy nearly 20 years ago).
I'll look at your email, thanks for reaching out on that :-)
Best,
John
Thank you from the bottom of my heart ❤️ for the book and everything that you send out on mail.
I always heard “ you are older and should know better”. I always felt inadequate and stupid. Since I read your book my life has change drastically. I’m sure that it will continue to do so. I’m now starting my own business and I’m very good at what I’m doing. Tank you again and I hope to be abele to come to one of your retreat som day.
All the best to you.
Katarina
Awww Katarina,
It's a great pleasure to be offering what we offer...
I'm so pleased the book and emails have helped...
And WOW you're doing so well...
Listen to yourself (and keep saying it)...
'I'm very good at what I'm doing'.
I'm basking in that now :-)
We'd love to welcome you on a retreat one day, lovely.
John
Hi John,
This is such a powerfull subject! I’ve changed a lot of scripts i learned in my life with a method called Creatrix in the past 1 1/2 year. And now you really made me curieus about your method!
In my head/unconsious mind stil are negative scripts about money I learned from my parents.. for exemple: if you’re born a dime, you’ll never be a quarter (it’s a Dutch saying), money isn’t growing on my back, money doesn’t grow on trees and you have to work hard to make a living.
But also script like failing is not an option, don’t appoint (if thats the correct translation) and you should be ashamed..
I’m looking forward for your next video and i’m also curious about the subscription for the Revolution. Where can I find more info about that?
X Martine
Hi Martine,
So here's a trick... when you know a script that you received is unhealthy and unhelpful (to put it mildly), write the OPPOSITE as a script.
And start using that.
Eg. 'I can make a living in an easier and more joyful way that I'd ever have imagined'.
Or even 'I'm starting to see that MONEY DOES GROW ON TREES, or that's the feeling anyway'.
You can have real fun with these,
and as long as you give them enough of a chance through constant repetition, you see wonders.
For the subscription, I'll be opening the doors this time next week, then you'll have a few days to join.
It would be lovely to have you in our gorgeous Revolutionary group :-)
John
Hi John,
Thank you so much! I’m gonna rewrite my script and it will help that its fun to do it like that!
Can’t wait to join your gorgeous Revolution group! :)
X Martine
It's working already!!!
I had to share a message that I received today, completely out of the blue:
"I'm interested in partnering in some fashion on your property. I can give u more details over the phone, and can show you how much more $$ I can help put in your pocket. I think you will like the vision."
Thank you John! I'm looking forward to video 2...
Hurray, that's beautiful Pete,
'Back of the net' as Alan Partridge would say :-)
John
I love the content of your video. I am learning to change the scripts in my head by approaching my negative thoughts with a sense of curiosity and love. I am interested to see more of what you have to say.
Suzanne,
Oooohhh I love that, that is just perfect...
That's advanced stuff Suzanne :-)
By doing so, you'll be tapping into a 'loving witness' energy that softens everything with love, beautiful,
and will work like a hot knife of love through creamy and accepted butter,
John
Thanks John
Enjoyed the video
One of my scripts is I haven’t the skills to survive out there if i ran a new script
Look forward to the next video
Best wishes
David
Hi David,
Now that's got my head going round in circles too :-)
So you could try to trick the brain out of that loop by creating something like "With my new scripts of (... whatever they are...) I have an increased ability to survive out there".
Have a go at a few.
The trick with some scripts is to make a significant step away from our current scripts but not such a huge leap that our brain's reject it.
There's lots of research on how these self-affirmations work...
And that's it in a nutshell :-)
John
My scripts from childhood were
You should be ashamed of yourself
You don't deserve nice things
Go to your room and don't come down until you're ready to say 'I'm sorry'
Is that the best you can do?
Crybaby
These days (I'm in my seventies) The scripts in my head are
I'm such an idiot!
I'm so clumsy
I'm useless
Thank you for the video and I'm looking forward to the next one.
Penny,
Isn't it remarkable how we talk to ourselves in a way that we'd never (or rarely) talk to anyone else.
And certainly (we hope) not a child.
And yet we routinely self-abuse with our words (and we know that words can hurt as much as sticks and stones).
Let us all cleanse our self-talk of such abuse.
I just had a thought... to have a kind of self-talk-abuse box, like a swear box...
every time we say something like that to ourselves (and I regularly say "You bloody idiot" we put some coins in a jar, and give the accumulated fortune to a charity at a later date.
It would bring even more awareness to what we're doing to ourselves.
Johnx
Brilliant idea, John! Thanks for your reply.
Hi, you put a massive smile on my face by the end of this video. I'm not surprised!
When I try to think about scripts from when I was younger, it is situations, feeling or experiences that come up rather than words. So when I was younger, I remember finding my first boyfriend on a school field trip. I was 11. On the last night there was a disco and I went to the loo, to come back and find said boyfriend dancing with another girl. Oh the heartbreak!
Age 12 or 13, I remember cringing with embarrassment because someone at the lunch table had pointed out I had a Postman Pat lunchbox. I had tried to cover it up with 'cool' stickers, but it didn't work.
Fast forward to my late 40's and I always think any partner I am with will find someone better.
Other scripts now are:
I'm not good enough
I'm boring, I'm an idiot, I don't fit in
Thanks again for yet another mind-blowing insight!
Big love xx
Hey Wing,
I'm glad I put that smile on your face :-)
You've got me thinking there too, about feelings not thoughts.
I just remembered running into the corner shop with my best friend (as a young boy), and the assistants there looking at me and laughing... I would have been really out of breath (because of asthma) and probably red in the face. That really hurt.
I can see in life that I've somehow gone into situations to meet the discomfort, sometimes to elicit discomfort in others (you know my sense of humour!) and it's probably a life-long process of edging into being okay with that kind of pain that I felt.
For your current scripts, just try doing the opposite of those, literally the opposite, and see what happens in your brain.
I remember the first time I was playing with such scripts, 25 years ago, I was saying over and over 'I love and approve of myself'... and it created such a reaction in my brain, 'what? you self-deluding idiot!'.
John
Hi John - it was so good to hear your soothing dulcet tones again. I am trying to change my script. I realise my mother was teaching me from the wrong curriculum(always negative) when I was a child. Now I am changing the script, I and she are getting on a lot better. Thank you. x
That's beautiful Bet,
thanks for sharing.
I'm about to go up and see my mum, who likes to complain (I don't think she even realises how much she does), so I'm going to meet it with some multi-appreciation of everything and everyone.
Which is kind of how I feel most of the time (though the energy companies are pushing me at the moment!).
John
My script of my adult life (well one of them) is that ‘I’m not fun’ / ‘I’m not the party girl” / “I’m the sensible one”. I had a tricky younger sister and I think my mum always told me to be sensible / that I was the sensible one. Interestingly my daughter (15) is the one person who makes me feel that I am fun and she thinks I’m fun and I do behave differently with her.
Antonia,
How beautiful that the message from your daughter is healing the message from your mum, the unfolding healing of the female line :-)
Play with a new script that describes more how you feel or how you'd like to be... and probably v. close to how you feel with your daughter.
It could be anything that rings more true to you than that old message, or one that you've slipped into as an adult.
After all, underneath everything is lightness, our minds just cover it up with seriousness (which always arises from attachment and the fear of loss that that induces)... you can now just wear yours more openly on the outside and a script or two will help that process.
John
Hi John!
This is great stuff, really brilliant, and I love how you're putting this powerful info out there in such a novel, creative, and clever way!
My own script from childhood about money, in particular, was that it was incredibly scarce (it wasn't, but it wasn't super-plentiful either; my parents are depression-era kids and came by that viewpoint/script honestly), and should never be used "frivolously" (read: hardly at all, except for necessities). As an adult I've found my own script to have morphed into somewhat of a rebellious reaction to that, and I am now careless, even a bit disrespectful of it; frankly I don't tend to my finances in a healthy, adult way at all, and although I make a decent living now, I've little to show for it. So I've got my work cut out for me but am feeling newly energized by your approach :)
On a side note, I know this video isn't directly about "therapy", but I'm a therapist myself and have used these techniques (CBT and, more particularly REBT) in my work for years. It's helped me and many of my clients tremendously. However, I'm now exploring another modality - internal family systems therapy - and have found these two techniques to work marvelously together. Are you familiar with IFS at all? I think it could be incorporated beautifully into the Fuck It paradigm!!!! :D
All the best, and thanks for all that you do!
- Dave
Dave,
Sorry, I'm late in here, I didn't spot your comment earlier...
I really resonate with the money stuff, and, in particular, the reaction to the various money paradigms in our families.
It's good to have your therapeutic take on this too...
Yes, I do know of IFS... we bring therapy into the F**k It world mainly through Gaia's 'Being Me Therapy' work, which combines a variety of practices and Gaia's long experience to create transformative therapeutic work.
John
What John helped me to realise is how much control I have over my thoughts. Possibly the only thing I have any real control over.
You’re such a disappointment
Family means never having to say your sorry
It’s a miracle you’ve never killed someone
You never finish anything
We have to work for what we get
You’ll never amount to anything
The best I can hope for you is to meet a man with a strong back hand
Fucking Bitch
Always put others before yourself
It’s all your fault
How dare you
They are very strong Samantha,
contrary to one of them, it sounds like you have a few people who could do with saying sorry.
John
You cannot leave the table until you have eaten those Brussels. (I hid them In a tissue and kept them behind the radiator!) The naughtiness continued...
I don't like your attitude, Jackie ( my twin) is so much nicer than you.
I did not remember much about my childhood, deaths assault etcetera, Recent trip away for work caused someone to remove my bubble wrap and now I feel sad as. I am Wonder Woman 👩 only just holding it together.
Elaine, yes, it's hard when that 'bubble wrap' comes off.
Do find someone to talk to if you can... so you can go through what's been coming up,
John
I thought I didn’t have any negative scripts until I dug a little deeper. I was well liked. My family doted on me. I was funny and easy going. However I was made to feel I needed to tone down my personality to make others fit in more. I was made to feel shame for being liked and felt like I had to shrink down when someone else felt “unseen”
It was also told to me I had it easier bc I was well liked even after my fathers passing! Like I was incapable of suffering…
“you’re small and cute which is why everyone liked you”
“You had it easy, nobody made fun of you”
“I’d be happier too and people would like me if I were you”
I also had a childhood Illness. Episodes Left me in bed for weeks unable to walk every couple of months.
I was also told scripts around my safety if I were alone. Needing to rely on my family to care for me. Even tho i was adventurous, I always feared for my ability to care for myself. Always told to be cautious and avoid situations most kids would be ok with (Ie: sleepovers)
While I was carrying weight of a personality that was causing me to feel shame..I was also seen as the daughter who embodied my fathers lighthearted personality after his passing. So I was both relied upon for this humor and felt it was necessary to keep the family “positive” I also wanted to not shine too brightly…
Tough combo.
Yes, that really is a tough combination to keep up...
See if you can find the scripts that balance these negative ones, about being safe when you're alone, about being yourself, about being able to feel all your feelings (not just the positive ones).
John
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