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Video 2: From Hospital To Hill

Do please leave a comment below.  John reads all comments.

John C. Parkin (author of the bestselling F**k It books) introduces his 'F**K IT REVOLUTION',
using special 'scripts' to change the negative scripts that we're received throughout our lives and that have driven our thought processes and thus our lives.
He shares stories of how these evidence-based repeatable scripts have brought revolution into his life.
And how they can for you too.

In this second video he shares about his long journey from stints in hospital as a child to the hills (and one 'Hill' in particular) in Italy, and a radical healing through a change in thinking.

 

22 comments

Rachel
 

My current scripts: my gut’s not behaving; I’m sick. If I go for what I want, I’ll get sick and it will stop me. I won’t get what I want. 

Scripts from my past: I  want never gets. I’m lazy. Why do you spoil things like you always do? I’ve never heard someone talk so much and say so little. It’s not good to be loud; be ‘too much’.

I want financial freedom to live the life I want with someone I love and respect who loves and respects me. 

Like you, I have done so many things to heal; spent so much money in order to do so; tried so much ‘alternative’, seen so many doctors. Finally said Fuck it. Came to Italy to Fuck it do what I love on your course (so fantastic!). 3 months later seriously sick again…this time cancer; the second thing that tried to kill me after trying to go for what I want.

“Fuck it! It doesn’t matter so much.”

The release in my gut was deep. Huge breathe in and out. Gurgling gut…is it chuckling at me?!

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John Parkin
Staff
 

Wow Rachel,
I just want to sit with your denouement there (and probably the start of many things too)...  the release that you felt, and the chuckling gurgling...  probably laughing with, not at you about all this :-)
And I'll chuckle too at all the drama my gut gets het up over, 
Thank you, 
John

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Rachel M
 

This is brilliant John. Such a simple statement yet so powerful. I particularly love how ‘it doesn’t matter so much’ really clarifies what we’re saying when we’re saying F**k it! I’m working on those old scripts I have going on…can’t wait to hear more of your F**k it revolution ones. This is such an important message for people right now - you know who I’m talking about! 🐸 😃

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John Parkin
Staff
 

Thanks Rachel, 
I do indeed know who...
It is a very powerful mantra isn't it...
And what I love too, is that there's a potentially different interpretation of the 'so' for different situations.  There's a kind of throwaway 'it doesn't matter so much' when we realise that something hardly matters in reality.  Then there's 'it doesn't matter SO much' when something clearly matters rather a lot, but not so much that we can get so stressed and worried and anxious about it!
Ahhh, the power of simple (and slightly malleable) things :-)
John

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janice
 

Thank you for this, and good to see you again - the thing I want the most is not possible because of government laws , problems with immigration backlog and personal choices around vaccination status, which means we cant unite as a family- something that was meant to take 45 days, is now three years on and we havent seen our son, for three years, and dont know when we will again -  I will try saying fuck it , it doesent matter so much, but my brain is saying that doesnt sound right at all,  sounds like I am being disloyal to my son, but maybe if I practice it very hard- the laws will change and we will all be together one day soon x x x x x

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John Parkin
Staff
 

Hi Janice,
I'm not surprised that your brain is saying that that doesn't sound right at all. Probably because in this instance, it isn't.
The malady for most of us is that we place too much meaning on too many things, and we then get anxious about the potential for many of these things to go wrong, and we get seriously upset when they do.  But, when we see it all with any kind of perspective, it's clear that MOST of these things don't matter so much.  Some don't matter at all.  Some matter, but don't matter so much that we get so worried about them.
So that mantra is a gift to many people because it allows them to realign their priorities and get things in perspective.
I talk about a 'worry bandwidth'.  If we're going to have concern (and worry) about things, then at least let them be the things that really matter.  If we're worrying about things that don't matter so much, we're not really focussing enough attention on the things that do.
And we all have the things that really do matter.  And that we can't 'it doesn't matter' or even, often 'it doesn't matter so much'.
And the example I always give of something that really matters to us is our boys. Of course they matter, their health matters, their wellbeing matters.
So in your case, of course it matters, it must be agony not having seen your son for 3 years.  Your 'F**k It' might be... 'F**k It THIS REALLY MATTERS, what are our options?'  Of course it matters seeing your son, but is there any way around this, or through this, that doesn't involve laws changing (something that, very clearly, is very difficult for you to influence).
All the best with working through this, 
John

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janice
 

Thank you so much John for this reply and for taking the time to reply, it means a lot to me and I so appreciate it, so very very much, it is so comforting to have a reply and to have been heard, and I understand all that you say, very valuable, always grateful to you and Gaia xxxxxx

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Margie
 

I read your book a number of years ago, and at the time was going through a depression. Since then “f**k it” has become my favourite new line, some people take offence to it, but “f**k it” as I don’t care what they think. Yes, I still have my days, but can snap out of it when I realize my problem is mostly my negative thinking! So just say “f**k it” feel better and get on with the day!! Thank you for this video series!! 😊

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John Parkin
Staff
 

Margie, 
It's strange, isn't it... that many people can associate low mood and depression with lack of meaning, whereas it's often a symptom of over-meaning, our lives being too full of meaning, and meanings that we're attached to, and thus laid low by the anxiety of potential loss and the reality of our changing fortunes in the myriad things we're attached to. So I love that you're using 'f**k it' as the antidote to that, lovely, 
John

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Rachel
 

Thank you John, timing was perfect, I have managed to put so much importance on a new job it has become all consuming, it’s crazy the pressure I have placed on myself to make a success of it - fear of failure is huge for me (my script from childhood was repeatedly being told by my mum that I was stupid…. well into my teams).

I’m desperate to be-little the importance of it in my life as it is taking a toll on all aspects of my life and I don’t feel in control.

Fuck it! It doesn’t matter so much 😉




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John Parkin
Staff
 

Rachel, 
Great...
And you can create some mantras to counter those childhood ones too, play with what both feels right and gives you a feeling of competence and confidence.  Then just keep repeating them until they go in deep.
John

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Claudia
 

I love you the new video series John, thank you so much.

Somehow I got the point, somehow not.

F++ck it, it doesn´t matter so much when I cannot stop smoking the 5-10 cigarettes a day ´cause they seem to give me a feeling of relaxation, although I feel they don´t. I feel much better when I don´t smoke, but somehow, in the middle of the day, I think I need to smoke. 

F++ck it, it doesn´t matter so much when I cannot help my younger daughter releasing her big stress while learning for her MBA exam. 

F++ it, it doesn´t matter so much when I have to watch my elder daughter work a lot - much more than is healthy in my opinion.

F++it, it doesn´t matter so much that my soulmate died one and a half years ago from cancer.

F++it, it doesn´t matter so much that when hearing the news on the radio, I feel stressed and anxious, as someone from the gov said that we are going to run into a big storm this automn and winter. Huge inflation, corona plus influence issues, energy crisis and many people won´t be able to buy food for themselves and their families which will lead to rumors all around.

F++it, it doesn´t matter so much that no end of the ukraine war is in sight.

F++it, it doesn´t matter so much.

When I drove home tonight I somehow felt in my inner feelings something like you describe in the video no. 2 ... opening your e-mail, I know feel kind of happy that I´m not alone allowing me to implement this new mantra into my life, despite the a.m. worries.

F++it, my English is still not as perfect as I´d like it to be ;)

Claudia xxx

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John Parkin
Staff
 

Hi Claudia, 

Your English is not perfect?! Sounds pretty brilliant to me... especially your use of 'a.m. worries' which I assume means 'aforementioned' and not only the worries you have in the morning!

Have a read what I wrote to Janice on this page...  about how this mantra is great for all those things that we get so worried about don't really matter so much...  "Oh now, did I say the right think to Jill at the coffee morning?", "I think I've painted the lounge the wrong colour!" and so on.

But there are things that are worth bringing our worry attention too.  Well I say that... 'worry' can be useful in that it's a red flag about something that can make us act.  You mention about the cost of living crisis... if we thought, now, in this warm summer, that 'it doesn't matter so much', yet, if we look at it, it's clear that it will be very tight this winter, then it doesn't serve us... best to see the red-flag and start to plan for what we need to do.  For example, I tried (unsuccessfully as I turned out) to raise our energy direct debit yesterday... to try to build more of a credit whilst the bills are relatively lower in the summer.

So... there are things that matter and that we can usually do something about...  even if our options are relatively limited...

And there are things that matter that we can't do a lot about... such as the war in Ukraine, or matters that are entirely out of our control. In those cases, we need to manage our responses...  to work with acceptance, self-compassion and compassion, and relaxation.  Or see that there are some things we can do even in those situations.. the outpouring of help and compassion at the start of the war was powerful to watch and experience.

One pattern I see in your points is about relaxation... both relaxation for you (that you then find through smoking) and for your daughter in her study.  So looking at ways to relax (without smoking) is likely to really help you (and those around you).

So here's one quick method.  You just have to do it a few times a day, for a few minutes each time.  Breathe out for longer than you breathe in.  So count in to 4 when you breathe in and count out to 6 when you breathe out (or any numerical configuration that means you're breathing out for longer!).  It's scientifically proved to work a treat :-)

So...  our 3 options are -

1. It doesn't matter so much (thus, I can relax)

2. It matters, and I can do this about it.

3. It matters, and there's little I can do about it but work on acceptance and relaxation (a.f. relaxation technique). 

John :-)

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David Ratcliff
 

Brilliant ,thanks John

Ive wanted to take off the “duty ,its me ,its my job “ coat for a long time but its a lifetime habit and rather afraid that there’s no one there when /if it comes off.

Im going to give fuck it it doesn’t matter so much a try

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John Parkin
Staff
 

Well David, it's warm enough at the moment to be playing with taking coats off :-) so I think that's a great idea...
Happy playing with this, 
John

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Penny
 

This made so much sense to me. I've always taken life SO seriously. I was called 'Miss Play Proply' at school because everyone in my game had to abide by the rules. When I'm advised to have fun, I'm not really sure what it means!

So I shall be repeating the mantra in the hope of some relaxation of life. Thank you.

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John Parkin
Staff
 

Hi Penny, 
Thanks for your message...  yes, keep saying it... over and over and over and over and over again, then over and over and over and over again.  Then have a rest, take things really seriously, then start saying it again.  After a while, not only will your view of the world start to change, but you'll attract lighter things, fun things, into your life in the multitude.  Because the vibration of almost everything out there, underneath, and notalways obvious, is lightness and okayness. As I look out into the garden now, I can see even the lavender swaying with gentle laughter :-)
John

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Alun Romano
 

Hello John,

I'm loving this series of videos. Books are great, but sometimes you need a little visual demonstration of a point and this is working brilliantly for me. 

My fuck it journey began in 2016,  after getting some external help and reading one of the fuck it books, with what i guess felt like a breakdown that turned out to be an inspired change of career to being a postman for 5 years. (we've discussed this at length- thankyou)

 I've sort of retired this year but I'm now doing some youth work (which i'm loving and is tough but bloody rewarding) and Ive found some of those old scripts coming back, Ive put on a few pounds, my mental state is not ideal, a little more anxious etc. 

So, the old scripts I learnt as a kid "finish all the food on your plate" strangers are to be feared" for example, are clouding my thinking and I'm getting really tense about lots of stupid things. 

Just realising where my thinking is coming from has helped and letting go of the "very important" but not that important stuff is helping me get that into perspective today. I guess my struggle is when completely letting go and having no boundaries around stuff. Lets say, food, means I may overeat. So, I will have a think about that, trust the process and look forward to the next few videos. I'm calling this my fuck it v2.0. I know it will definitely work then!! Thanks John and Im loving the t shirts. :)

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John Parkin
Staff
 

Alun, 
Well hat off for spotting the changing t-shirts, yes, I think there's a different one for each video :-)
I love your process, or processes...  you're a living embodiment of taking the conscious path...
you hit a snag and you pause, consider everything, and readjust (to great success), then hit another snag, and pause, consider everything and readjust (to great success). Love it.
So all the best with F**k It v.2.0 :-)
John

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Alun Romano
 

Thankyou John. I'm sure you get this but the power you give us in being able to express where we are as individuals with this stuff, and then comment as you do is bloody fantastic and I'm sure is the "glue" that will make it stick for me and others. Thankyou mate. 

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John Parkin
Staff
 

It's a great pleasure Alun, 
I love sharing this, and chatting about these insights, J

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Kath
 

Hi John, I really enjoy your videos, thank you. I wish I had met you years ago. I am old now and feel lonely. I have had a good life have a good sense of humour. Having come from a large family I miss the right kind of company. However, I shall start your revolution. Makes me smile when I use your script.

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